BEING CLOSER TO THE
CUSTOMER...........
Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.
Suddenly, over the public address system, the captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing.
Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island. An hour later Abe turns to his wife and asks, "Esther, did we pay our $5,000 PBS pledge cheque yet?" "No, sweetheart," she responds.
Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Esther, did we pay our American Express card yet?"
"Oh no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the cheque," she says..
"One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send cheques for the Visa and MasterCard this month?" he asks.
"Oh, forgive me, Abie," begged Esther. "I
didn't send that one, either." Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years.
Esther pulls away and asks him, "So, why did you kiss me?"
Abe answers, "They'll find us!"
Different Phases of a man:
After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman
There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has her.
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
A man who surrenders when he is WRONG, is HONEST.
A man who surrenders when he is NOT SURE, is WISE.
A man who surrenders even when he is RIGHT, is a HUSBAND
Man receives telegram: Your wife is dead - should she be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ashes.
Why dogs don't marry?
Because they are already leading a dog's life!
Fact of life:
One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue
to do so for the rest of your life!
Life is a paradox-
What u want u don't get (love),
what u get, u don't enjoy (marriage),
what u enjoy is not permanent (girlfriend), what is permanent Is boring (wife)
What men want:
A woman who can cook,
a woman who earns good money,
a woman who loves him AND.........a system to make sure that those 3 women never meet each other!
Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman? Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
Lady to her maid: Oh Kantabai, I think my husband is having an affair with his secretary.
Kantabai : I don't believe it! You are just saying that to make me jealous!"
R.Jagannathan.
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