SRIDHARAN- THE IDEALIST

SRIDHARAN- THE IDEALIST

(Tragedy struck me again in 2000 – I lost my younger brother- hardly 58-years old. I cannot call him my brother but a close friend and well - wisher. At the time of his death he was occupying highest post of Deputy Chief Engineer in Tamil Nadu Electricity Board. I was not able to bear this loss. He taught me- why should we seek beauty when beauty is always with us )

Just one month before this tragedy we met each other at Egmore railway station- at his request. The long absence of contact between us pained both of us and we wanted to come close again. I saw him look a different man-absence of Tilak at his forehead, with visible Grey hair, little bit worried but with the same smile and wit.

This boy- I can say emphatically grew on my lap. I used to rush him to nearby Doctor
when he used to suffer convolutions (Mantham) when he was a child. When he was
studying at high school I was away from house but he opposed irrational things
vehemently. No particular attachments to religious customs he grew in totally secluded surroundings.
But he was a bright student. It was during his college career that we came closer. He was suffering with acute pain and Doctor diagnosed it due to hernia and advised immediate operation. He pleaded for it with household people but nobody took it seriously and opposed it. Finally he came to me and I arranged the operation at Madras. From that day onwards he treated me with reference and respect. My word was final for him.

There were various incidents that cemented our ties closely. I was following his progress.He entered the services early - having obtained his B.E. Degree in Electrical Engineering in 60s. His punctuality, ability to solve complex problems, attention paid to Consumers and above all obedience and respect to higher officers earned him very good name in the Board. Promotion was a natural phenomenon.

Officially though he earned good reputation, personally he was very wavering type. He
could not make any decision quickly and even after deciding he used to brood over it
whether he made correct things or not. Perhaps this indecision took heavy toll of his
health in later years. In the middle of his career I saw in him a sudden change. From atheist in nature he turned into ardent devotee of Lord Narayana. He learnt Divya Prabandam and Vedam and every day he visited the Satyanarayana Temple and participated in all religious activities.

What made him to change? Some said that the premature death of his child might be the cause. For more than 10-years he lived like the above. At the fag end of his official career he turned a full cycle and left all religious activities, concentrated on meditation. He joined one mission at Madras - which advocates such course. This mission eschews all Hindu rituals including the age-old practice of Tilak on your forehead. His entire family joined in this mission.

I met him twice thereafter. I found that he was passing through enormous tension within himself – Whether what he was doing is correct or not. He conducted his second
daughter’s marriage at the Mission –casting away all the religious activities associated with Hindu Marriage. Thereafter there was complete silence from his end.

I received one day a sudden call from him. I jocularly asked whether he remembers us. Emotionally charged he replied that how can he forget for all the help and service I rendered to him and wanted me to meet him at the earliest. I observed that he was passing through some strain. I met him as I said earlier at Egmore Railway Station. We had long chat-exchanging information and incidents of our younger days and also about cricket. He came to me a worried man but left cheerfully.

That was the last time I saw him. I rushed when I heard his sudden death. I saw his face- complete with peace and calm-no signs of tension and pain. A flower has withered. I was not able to control myself. It is a saying that a man comes to
this world with his fist clinched but when he dies his hand is wide open. When the flower was blooming we responded with love- and now that beauty faded a love that waned.

Analysis:

I feel that the art of living is to know as to when to hold fast and when to let go. In case of Sridharan- he understood this concept late and by the time he was just coming out from depression death has overtaken him- probably he let it go earlier. Life goes on for rest of us and I understood that we have to make the best use of it.

· His life totally loyal to his Employer.
· Austere and Clean habits.
· Steadfast adherence to principles.

R.Jagannathan.