CHITHI- TRUE TO INDIAN TRADITION

TRIBUTES TO PRACTICAL MEN/WOMEN

CHITHI- TRUE TO INDIAN TRADITION

(For more than 65-years this lady – we call her as Chithi - served her family with
affection and total loyalty. Married at the age of 17 as second wife to a 45-year man, she began her career with 4-children ready to welcome her to the home. From that day onwards it was a saga. Never she showed tiredness in bringing these children and her own son- no distinction between them. When I saw her face at the time of her death - no signs of strain, peaceful and with satisfaction that she has done her duty- a True Indian woman.)

Alamelu – from a lower middle class family - was a second daughter to her parents- born in a village in Tanjore District in the year 1922. Her father was working in a temple in the village. Due to family condition she could not study much but her parents taught her all things required to be a house woman.

In those days there was a practice in Brahmin families to have second wife even if first wife is alive or if first wife died early- to look after the children left by first wife. In variably the girl is chosen from poor families and the girls were also ready to do so irrespective of the age of the man.

Alamelu was one such girl. She married Gopalan of 45-years old and it was an arranged
marriage. Gopalan lost his first wife 2-years before. He tried to manage to bring up the four children from first wife. He was a Railway employee and could not cope up of both duties-office and at home. He found a simple, innocent girl in Alamelu. Thus when she entered the house 4- children waiting to welcome her. Present day women
would have turned back in such a situation but Alamelu was molded in a different cast.

She knows her responsibility and willing to forego the comforts for the sake of her family and the children. It is not the aim of this book as to how she suffered and the ordeals she faced by her in bringing up the children but how she took up the challenge as a young girl and in the end succeeded in her mission. She loved the children and attached herself with the children so much- the children never saw their mother’s face but treated Chithi as their real mother.

We all know to create such an environment in a house requires lot of skill and ability and adjustments-which even highly qualified women may find very tough – but this simple village girl was able to do – speaks volume about the Society in which she was brought up. In course of time Alamelu had also one son. In many cases we have seen that once you have your son- you will loose interest with other children.

But in case of Alamelu it was not like that. Even her own son will call her only as Chithi. She never showed partiality and treated all the children alike. For the children sake she got beatings from her husband several times but she bore all such things cheerfully. She became part and parcel of the house.

Hospitality is the byword of Hindu Tradition. As head of the house you are required tolook after the guests, relatives and host of others whom her husband has got close
relationship. In addition ceremonies have to be attended. The cores in Hindu Joint Family system keep busy all the time and you have no time to attend to your personal life. Besides that you have to sacrifice many things in life including jewelry at times of need.

The system calls for loyalty, adherence of strict discipline and control of your passions and ambitions. Chithi fulfilled all that are required of her from the age of 17. Her busy schedule did not end with the passing away of her husband. She helped many families and many times looked after my family also. She never complained about anybody including those who did injustice to her. Humanity needs people like Chithi- an ideal of caring and kindness extending to all and every age and every living being. Their memories will live in the midst of simple and innocent people and there are hundreds of such people living in the remote villages of
India-serving the humanity silently.

Analysis:


Women hood in India is a symbol of tolerance, perseverance, patience and above all total loyalty to the family. This is more pronounced in the case of those who are second wives. They have to bear additional responsibility in bringing up the first wife’s children. Every action of theirs is watched by the Society. This put enormous strain on them.

· Sober and Patience is the byword to succeed when confronted with a family of
children.
· Every step you make- you should place it firmly.
· Looking back-you have achieved more than what you dreamed.

R.Jagannathan